so crystal peer reviewed my paper, and her insights were helpful.  she said that she had to re-read some of my writing because it was too complicated/wordy.  i think this is probably true, especially in the philosophy portion that i have written.  perhaps i need to give more background as to the basics of the social contract; i admittedly didn't really think of that.

otherwise, she said my content made sense, but that it was a little overwhelming.  unfortunately, i agree with her slightly (ha).  i need to work on making this cohesive and connecting my ideas smoothly.